I will start out by saying the title is a little tongue and cheek. With that said, the timing of the recent events fit very well into the season of Lent and that is not lost on me. This past year has been a test on me and what amount of stress I am willing to take on. It has also taught me how much I value those that are willing to reach out a helping hand and how important that is when I actually need it.
On Ash Wednesday this year I was slated to help with the service at church that evening. I ended up having a very stressful day at work that ended just five minutes before I needed to leave for church. I was a mess! I had so many tears in my eyes during that service and felt completely broken down. I was determined to find a way to push on and find a new way to feel successful at work. Little did I know that God had other plans for me.
It wasn't until after spring break that I realized that no matter what I was trying, I wasn't getting any happier. My personal life was suffering; there were projects at home that weren't getting done and time with friends and family had become less of a priority. I had started to change that at the beginning of the year as I set up a family day at the farm each month. So far, I'm 3 for 3 on that personal challenge. 😊 That change along with being more intentional with meeting up with friends, gave me a glimpse of what I had given up and was truly missing.
When I tried to look ahead to the next school year and the different programs/events that would be held, I realized I didn't find joy in them like I had before. I also started to just see a barrier there that didn't let me see a future in my current role. It was that barrier of a vision that really let me know that the path had turned and I was being directed elsewhere.
That is when I decided to take the leap and let my boss know that I would be stepping down after the end of this semester. While I knew I still needed to let my employees and my contacts on campus know, an immediate weight was taken off of my shoulders. I felt some of my bitterness just melt away. That conversation with my boss happened on Maundy Thursday. Once again, I was slated to help with the church service that evening. As I sat listening to the sermon the timing of all of this hit me. God had worked that entire Lent season on getting me to follow His path. I was going to be starting a new after the Easter weekend.
As I have gone through this week, telling those that deserve to hear the news directly from me, the weight on my shoulders gets lighter and lighter. I am finally yoking myself with God and letting him carry the weight. The absolute peace I have felt the past couple of days has me crying with praise and joy. He is starting to show me glimpses of the path that He wants me to start walking.
I do still feel that I was supposed to take the role of General Manager three years ago. I feel that there were lessons that I needed to learn and that in a very profound way it helped my faith grow deeper and stronger. God's timing has been a focus of my attention this year. I am aware of how impatient I can get, and he is quietly and consistently nudging to trust Him and His timing. I feel that more than ever at this moment.
I do not fully see where the path goes from here, but I know that I feel at peace with the direction that I'm heading. There's something up ahead that I truly feel is God given. I'm just praying that I have patience to follow the path step by step until He reveals whatever that treasure may be. I am excited for the new adventure that is starting even as I type this.
- but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. - Isaiah 40:31
I am so very proud of you.
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