Oh, The People We Meet

 The longer I go without traveling the more I realize how much I got out of it. Not only do I miss the places I went and the photographic scenery, I miss the people that I met along the way. Some of which I just noticed from a far and others became close friends.

 

Sweden 2005 – The girl I met when I boarded a train to Stockholm. I was nervous I was on the wrong train, so I asked her. Yep I was on the right train and bonus as we talked a bit more I found out that she not only knew about Lindsborg, she had also danced with the Swedish Dancers at Skansen a few years before.

 

Sweden 2005 – Emily, Benjamin and Mark. The three people that made that summer abroad so special. We hung out all the time and there were so many laughs. Still to this day I can’t look at a bag of cheese puffs or a crooked tree with out thinking of them.

 

Sweden 2014 – The woman wailing in the cemetery. I had no interaction with her, but I could feel her pain as I was trying to find my way out of the cemetery I had gotten myself lost in. In a weird way I have often thought back to her sometimes wishing that I could let my feelings come out as freely as she did. I can not help but hold back my emotions if others are around.

 

Sweden 2014 – The night I wandered the city I met a few interesting people. There were the guys in the bus station that were so interested in America, but had never heard of Kansas. While I don’t remember too many details, I do remember at how I laughed to myself about how drunk they still were, but were also very polite. Quite the combination. There was also the gentleman from Africa. He started by asking to borrow my cell phone charger. As he sat next to me charging his phone, we had a wonderfully open conversation about how he came to Sweden and his estrangement from his family. He talked about having not talked with his kids in years and the same with his own father. We sat there and talked about God’s love and how it is never too late to reach out to those that you love.

 

Ireland 2016 – Or really I should say Chicago. The guy I met at the airport who was kind enough to hang out with me for the day that our flight was delayed.

 

 Ireland 2016 – The older gentleman that I thought was yelling at me because I was photographing his picturesque house, but instead he just wanted to make sure he had his hat tilted just right so he could pose for the picture. That’s the type of person I want to be when I’m that age. He smiled so brightly as I took the second picture.

 

Ireland 2016 – The guy in the dining room of the hostel that I chatted with about how Americans can get drivers licenses so easily compared to those in the UK. We also talked about the upcoming election. It was interesting to hear an outsiders perspective.  In this same hostel there were the girls that I had the conversation about how badly I butchered the few words I know in Portuguese. We ended up hanging out in our room and just talking for a couple of hours.

 

Paris 2016 – The gentleman who told me he loved me. Sure, he was probably in his 80s and at first he thought I was stealing the money he dropped. However, the moment he realized that I was bending down to pick up the money to give it back to him his face lit up as if no one had shown him simple kindness in a very long time. He kept saying thank you and I love you over and over as we exited the subway station. It reminded me that sometimes the smallest gestures can mean the most in a soul needing kindness.

 

Paris 2016 – The college student from Florida who was staying the in the same hostel as me. While we were there the shooting at the Florida nightclub happened. She was actually from that area and rightly worried about her friends back home. During a discussion over breakfast I discovered that while we were on different sides of the political aisle we were able to have a very civil political discussion. I learned it easier to do so face to face. While I still don’t like to talk politics, I try to do so in person as you can see as well as hear their intent and at least there I can better get a sense of their side of the debate.

 

New York 2017 – My roommate in the hostel in Brooklyn. She was on her last day in the states and we decided to go to a Broadway show together. After the show she was willing to wait for me as I went to the top of the Empire State Building (she had been earlier that day). Then we got lost on the way back to the hostel due to subway trains not running the regular route after midnight. We got off at a shady part of New York City, but together we were able to find our way back while watching out for each other.

 

Germany 2018 – The generous people in the Munich courtyard area that let me sit with them to eat my supper. It’s an overwhelming concept that in this large outdoor city center that you just find an open seat. Sure, when I’m with friends or family finding a spot amongst strangers isn’t hard to do, but alone I found it terrifying. Luckily, there was a group of people that made an opening so I could have a place to sit. I would find out that they all didn’t come together, which made it a little easier to be the odd man out.

 

Germany 2018 – The tour guide for my day trip to the Dachau Concentration Camp. On the train she shared her story with us. Her father was German and her mother was Japanese. She was raised for some portion of her childhood in either the UK or US. I am vague on the details now, but I do remember that she had been raised with several view points of the war.

 

Germany 2018 – The kind lady who gave me chocolate after I cried myself to sleep after receiving the news of my mother’s passing. She also kindly found my charger after I had a breakdown not being able to find it. She didn’t know what was going on, she just knew that I was distraught and my soul needed some kindness.

Flight from Germany to Florida 2018 – I had found a budget flight home. One of those that if you want any amenities at all you had to pay for them and you had to pay and order in advance if you wanted a meal. There was a nice lady who saw that I didn’t have a meal (I didn’t look close enough when buying the ticket to order a meal) and she gave me one of hers. She said that it was an extra. Again, a little bit of that kindness that my soul needed at that time.

 

Cruise to Mexico 2019 – I’ll end this list with a couple of strangers who brought ridiculous joy and inspiration to me. The first was a woman about 15 years older than me give or take a few years. She had no problem with being the life of the party and making sure that everyone had a little glitter in their life. And by that I mean she actually came around and put glitter on our faces. The second was a woman who was either going to college to become a music teacher or was a new music teacher. Either way she would belt out “Shallow” along with the piano bar musician. She was great and made everyone there feel comfortable. Actually so did the piano bar man, so I’ll add him to this list as well. He got us all singing and enjoying the music.

 

All in all there have been some amazing adventures that I’ve gone on and I’m more than ready to go on more. Meeting people and learning who they are even in the shortest moments is one of the best parts of traveling. That is when you see parts of yourself that you might not have even known were inside ready to come out. So all I ask of 2021 is please, let me take another adventure!

Heartaches

I've gone back and forth on how to write this one. It started a couple nights ago when I couldn't fall asleep. It was the third night in a row that I couldn't fall asleep easily. I've always been a night owl, but this was different. This was actually just lying in my bed and the thoughts just kept flowing through my mind. Thoughts about work, projects not yet finished, bittersweet memories, the rabbit hole that is my singleness, my purpose in life and just an overwhelming feeling of helplessness.

I started praying that God would show me His path for me. And that sent a whole new train of thoughts going. Feeling guilty that I haven't been spending the time with Him. Having no idea why I haven't turned to him more. Wanting to tell this truth, but being so scared of 'offending' my non-Christian friends that I just stay silent. I've come to realize that is exactly what I shouldn't be doing. If I tell my truth correctly, people might disagree, but as it is still coming out of love hopefully they won't be offended. 

I then realized in some ways I knew part of my path, I was just too scared to follow it. So then I started praying that God would show me His path for me and give me the courage and strength to follow it. It still took me two days to find that courage and strength, I still don't know the right words for this blog, but I don't know if I ever really will. So here is my heartache.

During this strange time of the Covid pandemic my heartaches for so many different reasons. It of course aches for all the lives that have been lost and the people that are fighting for their lives. It aches for the healthcare providers that are living out their oath every single day in a way they never imagined they would.

My heart aches for all of the other essential workers that are doing their part to keep everyone else going. It aches for all of the workers that have been unemployed during this time. It aches for the students and teachers who are feeling lost and for the store owners/managers that are trying to do their best for their workers, their customers and sometimes even their own lively hoods. 

Those are some of the heartaches that I think most people in the world feel right now. But then there are some that are harder for me to explain and what causes me not to connect as much with my loved ones, especially on social media. My heartaches that I can't do more. It aches soooo much that while 90% of my feeds are positive and about coming together at this time of great need, there are still those that find their console in tearing other people or groups down. 

My heart aches for all of the leaders throughout the entire world who are having to come up with solutions quicker than they have ever done before on a global (or even small scale) level. While for some of the politicians this is part of their job description, I'm willing to bet that this is not one of those job descriptions that they ever thought they would have to do. Some of them have been blessed to be finding their footing quickly with this new leadership. Others not so much. My heart aches that at times lots of us, myself included, forget they are human and will make missteps along the way. 

My heart aches for the government workers who have been inundated with more work than they could have imagined in a record breaking short amount of time. Along with the technology companies that we now all rely on so much, that were not expecting to have so many new users in such a short amount of time.

My heart aches that I feel so at peace spending time on the farm that I love so much, while others feel imprisoned in their homes. For what ever reason God has given me such a peaceful feeling during the past three weeks. However I know this has been the opposite for so many people. It is painful to think of all of those people's hardships. 

At times the heart ache is so strong the only thing I can do is retreat and find some nonsense to clear my head. I have a feeling that I'm due for so many more heartaches before this is all over. And even more after it is over. As I fear many of us will not retain the kindness and love we are striving for now.

In one of my devotions I was told about the origin Longfellow poem "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day". It's strange to think of that poem at this time, but I had not realized that it had been written during the Civil War. As this is a war of it's own kind it makes since. I have sung this along with the radio or CD's for years, but never really listened to the words I was singing. Especially the following sections:

And in despair I bowed my head

"There is no peace on Earth" I said

For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on Earth, good will to men

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep

God is not dead nor does He sleep

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail

With peace on Earth, good will to men

During this time when my heart aches I will remind myself that God is not dead. He is here with us all. Let us ring the bells "loud and deep".

Cry Baby

I'm a self admitted cry baby. I always have been. It just wasn't until the last few years that I actually started to understand why and while I still have a hard time embracing it, I'm learning to do that as well.

I remember when I was young crying about a lot of things. I remember when a friend tried to help me with my spelling on the school bus and I got frustrated that I couldn't get it right. I remember turning away from her and crying. Even then I was embarrassed by my crying and from what I remember I pushed her away after that and our friendship soon dissolved.

That is the start of my being aware that I was a cry baby, but I didn't know how to stop. I can tell you memory after memory from grade school and middle school of me crying for some reason or another. And it didn't stop there, I just got a little better at hiding it most times. Or so I think.

In Jr. High one afternoon during volleyball practice my assistant coach called me out into the hallway and told me "No one likes a cry baby. You need to learn to not cry." She was one of my favorite teachers, so I took the words to heart. After all it is fairly true. No one likes a cry baby. And if you don't understand why a person is a cry baby, it can be quite annoying.

After I was instructed to learn not to cry, I tried many ways to make that possible. At least in public. I even started doing algebra in my head to keep from crying. This came in handy later in life when I went on a first date and we chose the movie "Pay It Forward". 

Note to self and all other singles out there: Don't go to see a sappy movie on your first date! 

I thought the best way for me to solve this problem was just to push everything down and bottle it up inside. That would work, until I completely would fall apart. The shower was my favorite place to fall apart because the tears flowed just like the shower water.

In college it was a little harder. Living with 50 women made it hard to find a spot where I could cry alone. And then my world fell apart when I flunked out of school, rightfully got kicked out of student housing, and soon after my boyfriend broke up with me. At that point I still didn't realize why I cried or what my mind and body were really trying to tell me when I cried. I spent years and years stifling my tears.

It wasn't until I found my church home in St. Louis that I started to embrace my tears. I can remember first going there and fighting my hardest to keep back the tears while they prayed for me and I learned more about myself. I didn't even make it a month there before I broke down in one of the small groups talking about how my mom had taken a drastic turn just 6 months earlier. Her MS had caused severe complications that caused a grand mal seizure. And that just 3 months earlier my sister had been diagnosed with leukemia. And the icing on the cake was I lost one my jobs the week I started going to church.

I couldn't keep it in any longer. I broke down completely. What surprised me though, was that this group of people embraced my tears. They didn't see me as a cry baby (at least not at that point :)) and they didn't find me annoying (again at least not at that point ;) ). This was a real turning point for me, though I it was just the beginning of me learning why exactly it is that I cry.

I still don't know all the reasons, but in the past couple of years I've studied the enneagrams a little and learned that I'm a 2 (the care giver). I can see/hear the pain, hurt, sadness, joy in others and that can trigger tears in my. I now know that's why I cry so easily at movies and songs.

I know I cry when I'm tired. I used to HATE it when I would be crying and my mom told me I was crying just because I was tired. That couldn't possibly be why I was crying! And now I will admit out loud "I'm crying and extra upset because I'm so exhausted. I just need to go to bed."

I also cry when I feel that I'm not being heard or seen. This might be the most unhealthy of my cry reasons. This is where the cry baby name comes out. I'm not one to look for conflict. I want to make everyone happy. The quote I've heard about 2's is that we "desire to be needed, but need to be wanted." This was life changing for me. When I feel that I'm being needed, but not wanted it triggers me. I feel disrespected and the emotions just come out. It's really hard for me, but I'm learning to use my words more. It's super hard for me as this isn't how I've dealt with my emotions most of my life.

 Yes, I'm sensitive. Yes, my emotions come through my tear ducts. Yes, this turns quite a few people away from me. Yes, I've been crying while writing this entire piece. Yes, I've been trying hide the fact that I've been crying from my dad who is sitting just a couple feet away.

I don't think I'll ever stop the tears. I just hope that along with the tears I'll find my voice.

Europe 2016 - Nothing Went as Planned

The evening of the previous day I went down to the kitchen where I knew the WiFi worked the best and there was a plug-in to charge my phone. I was on a mission to find a day trip to see more of Ireland. Before leaving home I had only reserved one day trip as I couldn't decided on which other ones I wanted to take. I would later find this to be a blessing.

I looked and looked, but all of the ones that I was interested in and that were in my price range were booked. I wasn't finding a single one. And I was getting very frustrated. I was cursing myself (luckily just in my head) for putting this off. What was I going to do with another day in Dublin? I had packed everything in the last two days so I wouldn't miss out and now I had another day to wander around. But I'm a planner, so I had to make a plan. That's when I decided that I would take the money that I was going to spend on the day trip and go to the one museum that I hadn't been to but was interested in. Kilmainham Gaol - the old prison.

*Side story - While I was in the kitchen a fellow traveler (who was actually from Ireland) started up a conversation. He wanted to know about the politicians that were running for president. This was the last thing I wanted to talk about. I was trying to escape some of the politics as that was all that was on the news back home. This man though didn't have an opinion and just wanted to know how it all worked. It even went onto other general differences between our countries. He was shocked that we were able to get drivers' licenses at such a young age. This wouldn't be the last time politics would come up in conversation, but this was definitely more about learning than stating opinions.

My first hostel. 

A farmer's market in front of the Castle. How appropriate!

I left the hostel early in the morning and took my luggage to my second hostel. Then I was off to the prison. It was going to be a long walk, but I had nothing but time.

Statue in front of Christ Church Cathedral

Dublina and Christ Church Cathedral (and the arch I love so much)

City Wall

As I was walking  I came across the above wall. It is one of the city walls from medieval Dublin (possibly 12th century). There are only 2 sections left in the city. This would have been about where one of the city gates was.

Arthur's Pub - It has been a pub for over 200 years.

I found it funny that all over Dublin, but especially right near the Guinness District there would be Budweiser signs. And I don't know what the Off Licence means.

This is where Arthur Guinness and his family (he had 21 kids) lived. 

I've never seen a church with a glass steeple.

View of Dublin

Loved the decorations

After walking all the to Kilmainham Gaol I was feeling better about the day. That was until I saw that all tours were sold out for the day. That must be a pretty awesome museum if all the tours were sold out. And once again, I was beating myself up for not planning ahead. After touring the gift shop and having a little snack I decided it was a beautiful day, so I should go across the street and sit in the park for a while.

Kilmainham Gaol from across the street

Entrance to the Park which leads to the Irish Museum of Modern Art. It used to be one of the city gates. It wasn't originally located here, but they needed to move it for development reasons, so they moved it here.

Entering the park

I soon realize that the park is fenced off for a festival that night. On to plan D. Head back to where I started and prepare for the next day. Finding the bus station and buying my ticket to Belfast.

Statue in the Park

The art museum

The courtyard. This building is the Royal Hospital Kilmainham. It was built in the 17th century and was a home to retired soldiers for over 250 years.

Front entrance to the museum

As I was leaving the grounds I noticed this sign on the fence. I have a feeling it was going to be a crazy festival that night. 

I found this quaint little waterway on my way back to the Temple Bar District. As I stopped to take a picture of it I heard "No, Hey, Wait!" Thinking I wasn't supposed to take the picture, I moved my phone slightly and took it just of the river as I couldn't resist. After I lowered my phone and saw the old gentleman sitting on his porch, smoothing down his hair with a big grin on his face. He then replaced his hat and smiled as I took a second picture.

The man is sitting right in front of the door. I know I should have zoomed in more for this picture, but I still wanted the picture of the waterway with the house.

On the way to the bus stop I decided I would try a different tourist item. One of the river boat cruises. Once again I was thwarted. All of the tours were full. I continued on to the bus station. I thought I could remember where it was from two years prior. This was not quite the case. I would end up wandering around for a few hours. I even asked a person or two, but got confused in their directions. I finally found the station, got my ticket and was glad that I went looking for the bus stop a day before I had to leave.

But what to do now? I had watched P.S. I Love You before leaving on the trip. One of the locations in that movie is Whelans. That would be an interesting place to check out. It would be a pleasant walk, as it was once again a sunny day.

This is the fancy shopping district of Dublin, Grafton Street

This store even had doormen that wear top hats. Too pricey for me, but fun to look at.

Entrance to St. Stephen's Green

I got lucky and found myself in St. Stephen's Green. This park has a deep history in the uprising/revolution. And it is absolutely beautiful. I was definitely not the only person that took advantage of the nice weather.  

I had been pretty upset about the whole day. It felt like a wasted day. It took sitting on a bench and having a moment with God for me to realize that it wasn't a wasted day and that this trip would be different for me. I made a conscious decision to take time to just wander anytime I could. Just to find my inner peace. After walking the entire park and people watching, I continued on.

My pictures of Whelan's didn't come out great. It is the building with the red stripe. I'll be honest, it looked like a place where a single woman wouldn't feel completely comfortable by herself. Or maybe that's just how I felt. Basically I chickened out and decided to find supper somewhere else.

A bunch of shops in a really pretty building

Of course I had to stop here and get my collector's pin.

Back at Temple Bar District

I did end up treating myself to a 'fancy' meal. A little Irish Stew and Irish Bread. It was DELICIOUS! I tried to eat as much as I could. The bread was so good couldn't leave it behind as was the lamb meat in the stew. When I told the waitress I was done, she saw the half full bowl and asked if everything was OK. I said "It's wonderful, I just wish I had a bigger stomach." She laughed and smiled and said "Never wish that."

The Shack Restaurant, where I got the Irish Stew

Had to take another picture of this iconic bar.

Hostel #2

Quick hostel review: If you are wanting to stay in the Temple Bar District, this is a great location. It was on the edge of the district, so not as much noise. They also have a pizza shop, so you get a discount on the pizza. There wasn't much of a community room and I don't know if it had a kitchen. The room was pretty small. It was a 6 person room. It was all clean though.

The view from my bed. I actually liked listening to the noise of the city, but my roommates didn't. It wasn't long before they shut the window and the shades.

 I ended up walking over 24,000 steps. That's around 11 miles. They next day would start early and I looked forward to seeing a dear friend again.

Europe 2016 - Busin' Around

Before I get to the fun events of the next day, a quick review of the hostel. When searching hostels when I wanted one for all four nights, it would have cost me more than my lodging budget for the whole trip. I quickly learned that if I decided to stay 3 nights in one hostel and 1 night in another it would knock over 75% of the cost off. So that is what I did.

 

This first hostel had a good location, right around the block from the main bus station (which I didn't realize until the next day). They also were very friendly and were willing to store my luggage until I could check in. This meant I could tour the city without worrying. The rooms were also a very good size and the kitchen, living and outdoor areas were large as well.

 

However in a room with 10 beds there were only two outlets that were right next to the door. I also had troubles with the door code and they way the latch worked. I know my roommates got a little frustrated at me at times. The worst part though was that the restroom was either a 1/2 floor down or 1 1/2 floors down. The one bathroom that was closest was only a one stall restroom, while the one further down had a couple stalls and the showers.

 

All in all though, it was worth the money and a very safe place to stay.

 

Now to the good stuff. I did manage to wake up early enough to make a full day of adventures. With my Dublin City Pass I had gotten a 24 hour hop on- hop off bus tour. I used part of this they day before to get to the Guinness and Jameson factories. Luckily I had used that late enough in the day that I still had some time to ride the bus again. I decided this would be a great way to see the city.  I planned on catching the bus near the Dublin Castle, as I knew where that stop was. Of course that's not how it went.

 

I decided to take a scenic route to the castle. The problem with this is that streets in Europe are not nice grids as they are in Kansas. After walking for over an hour, I decided I was lost. But as I didn't have an actual agenda I wasn't too upset. I just didn't want the time on my bus pass to run out. I decided I would aim myself towards the river, as I could then figure out where I was. (Note: I was trying not to look like a tourist, so I was being stubborn and not looking at a map.)

 

After a bit, I saw I was coming up on a park, so I decided this would be a perfect spot to stop and eat a little brunch. This was the view I got as I entered the park.

 

 

Turns out the park was actually the park of St. Patrick's Cathedral. It was a beautiful place for a break. And better yet, I knew there was a bus stop there.

 

Door to the Choir School. Founded in 1432 A.D.

Once again I'm seeing a connection to Lindsborg in Dublin. The Hallelujah Chorus will be sung for a fundraiser.

 

On to the bus I got. It was a great way to see the city.

Ha' Penny Bridge

We are looking at the upcoming blue building.

According to several blogs I found on Pinterest, this is a big tourist spot. I didn't actually go though.

Entrance to Trinity University

 

 

Once the bus tour got near the castle, I decided to walk a bit. As I was taking this picture, a person walked by and gave me a strange look. They then looked over at the building and said "That is a beautiful building!"



I remember seeing this building the last time I was in Dublin

 

I then decided to go to the castle and take the guided tour. This is a great tour to go on. It includes the castle, the chapel and the ruins of the old castle. Last time I was in Dublin I looked at the outside of the castle and the chapel was open so I went in there. I found out on this trip, that I shouldn't have been able to go into the chapel. :)

The Royal Balcony in the Chapel. Each of the carvings is a crest of the political families and the one in the middle is actually of St. Patrick. 

This is part of the remains of the old castle a story down from the current street. This is one of the towers, that no longer exists higher than this point. The small pile in the upper middle part is actually part of the Viking castle that was built on this sight. It is the only remains of that castle that have been found.



These are the entrance stairs to the old castle. They are actually very steep and different heights and widths so that people trying to storm the castle wouldn't be able to do so very quickly.



This is actually a river that was visible during the Viking Times. This was the river that ran from the Black Pool (lake) that Dublin was named after. Now it doesn't really run, but here under the castle you can still see it.

In the castle, which had been updated, so it feels more like a palace. The mirror at the bottom of that table was so that the chaperons of the balls held there could look and see if the skirts of the ladies were long enough. They could see this from either the bottom or the top of the stairs.

This throne was built for King George IV, who was a large man. When Victoria became the Queen they added the footstool so her feet would not dangle.
 

At one point our guide had to stall as the group in front of us was still in the next room. She asked if anyone knew what this couch was. Me being the nerd I am, said a courting couch. The guide was so impressed that I knew what it was. I will admit though I thought the two young people would sit on each side of the divider. However that is not the case. The two that were to be matched were on the ends while the parents were in the middle making "the deal".

The palace ballroom

After the tour I decided to sit on the same bench as I had two years earlier and take the same selfie.

After the castle tour, I decided to walk over to Trinity University to check it out.  On the way over I saw this casting call on a light pole. Too bad I missed it. :( ;)

 



Trinity University Courtyard

 

I ended the day by going back to the hostel to try and charge my electronics before my roommates took the outlets. I also needed to repack my bag as I would be going to a different hostel in the morning. This started up a conversation with one of the other girls in my room. She was from Australia. Soon a girl from Brazil was in the conversation and we talked and laughed at my poor pronunciation of Portuguese words. Talking with people from all over the world in the hostels was a great experience of my trip and one I won't forget.